Though I hadn’t exactly fallen off the face of the earth this past week, it almost felt like it. Starting Tuesday and ending an astonishingly long 5 days later on Sunday, I attended our Academy Annual Meeting. By the latter half of the week I functioned in nothing short of auto-pilot mode, only able to respond to minimal command and action. Each day consisted of 6-7AM meetings and agendas that lasted long through the afternoon and evening, after which there was a “voluntary” dinner and cocktail hour (voluntary in quotes of course, because this was probably the most important segment of the day that would facilitate the networking process immensely), which would last until midnight or so, depending on the amount of alcohol consumed and topic of conversation at hand.
By the fourth day of aching feet, general weariness, and sleep deprivation, I crazily followed through on my 5K race obligation to support Arthritis funding, as part of the Orthopaedic initiative this year. I’m not exactly sure at what point in time waking up at 5 o’clock to do a sunrise run up a frigid Lake Shore Drive sounded like a good plan, and whether I was lucid at the time, but overall it was a great experience, minus the frostbite and chilled-air lung syndrome. But, as I was crossing that finish line I felt a great sense of accomplishment, despite weather condition and time.
The actual meeting consisted of instructional course lectures that would provide CME’s (continuing medical education) for physicians, symposia, paper presentations, and both scientific and technical exhibits. Also, this meeting serves as a forum for individual committee meetings to take place, of which I am responsible for three. The degree of stress and nervousness that I encountered beforehand was exponential at times, being that two of the committees I had never met with in person, and had only corresponded with via phone and e-mail. But notwithstanding the fear and trepidation, they proceeded fairly well, though I definitely did note a certain air of distinction in the room, as I was more often than not both the youngest as well as the only female. I am beginning to understand that the sense of being inconsequential is a mountain I will have to climb, one short stride at a time.
By the welcomed turn of Sunday, most of the original 30,000 people attending had cleared out and Academy staff were able to tie up loose ends and pack up for home by early afternoon. All in all, though thoroughly exhausted, I was pleased with the way the meeting proceeded, and look forward to next year in San Diego. Not that staying at The Drake directly on the Magnificent Mile wasn’t wonderful; I saw and experienced more of this beautiful city than I ever have, and it was unparalleled, however, it’s good to be home, and back to the general routine.
I literally have to laugh off sometimes at how much stress we can put on ourselves. It’s four days before our Academy Annual Meeting that will bring 30,000 surgeons, pharmaceutical and industry representatives, residents, fellows, and students alike into the great city of Chicago for a full week (good luck trying to get a reservation anywhere). Tensions around the office have been running high. In fact, yesterday when I called down to our Convention Services department, I was verbally reprimanded for asking for what I had thought to be a simple request. People are falling ill left and right due to the physiological effects of stress, and moodiness runs amok. Being that the first four months here have caused me no small amount of tension, it could be readily predicted that these last couple of weeks would take their toll on me even further. This morning I had to hold back tears of frustration when I came in before sunrise only to find five voicemail messages and 24 work related e-mails after I checked my inbox at 8 o'clock last night, about par for the course thus far. All were imminent inquiries eagerly awaiting my attention. Four and a half hours later I had finally sifted through the knolls of telecommunication. After which, much to my own astonishment, I found much hilarity in the situation and promptly took a much needed "recovery break".
I’m quickly learning it’s not stress that should motivate work; motivation should motivate work. A sincere and steady work ethic is all that is needed, and being anxious or tense only exacerbates an already aggravated condition. Or if the stress can’t be squelched, at least fake it for the sake of your fellow colleague. It's much better for everyone all around.
Just recently we had an intradepartmental meeting (I’ve probably spent more time in these than actually in my own office); the impetus was to generate ideas on how to boost employee morale. As precedent in the seventy years or so that the Academy has been in existence, turnover has not been very high. People tend to start and then stay for 25+ years. However, over the course of the last three years or so, there have been noticeably shorter employment periods and a lot of new faces around here (one being mine of course). Any HR dept. will advocate on the financial basis for employee retainment, and there was much worry. Coincident, or maybe not so coincident were some other extenuating changes such as lengthening the work week from a previous 35 hours, eliminating casual Fridays, putting a cap of 4 weeks on vacation time accrued, losing the week of paid vacation at Christmas, and numerous other things.
However, that being said, when I was recruited, things such as tuition and fitness reimbursement, adequate vacation and sick time, flexible work scheduling, travel, robust holiday bonuses and autonomous work atmosphere were still major incentives, so I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. Still, I think it is inherent in human nature that if something is taken away, we get defensive and angry.
So, in trying to alleviate the problem, although in just light it’s like putting a bandage to stop a leak in a cruise boat, we were allowed a “casual day” today. Here I am sitting in jeans, feeling vaguely uncomfortable being comfortable in non-high heeled shoes and jeans. But then again, it’s one less suit set I have to send out to the dry cleaners and I didn’t have to iron any blouses last night. Maybe there’s something to losing casual Fridays after all…
Merriam-Webster defines anniversary as: the annual recurrence of a date marking a notable event. What makes a date worth noting, as to recall and commemorate the next year into each passing year? The obvious include births, deaths, wedding dates, holidays, etc…, but are there others that we keep in our sole discretion, that with that simple flick of the next calendar page, metaphysically transform us back to that particular event on that particular day? They come few and far between, but maybe thye are lodged between an endlessly long train of days bookended by January 1st and December 31st because they serve as almost translucent markers of how far we've come.
Although it seems that the current trend is to take the season of Lent both loosely and lightly, it has always been a period of reconciliation and repentance for me. The “middle-doers” have and probably always will be objects of stymie to me; either you give up something or you don’t; and if you choose to partake, then what’s so difficult about keeping with it for a mere 40 days? But I suppose as with everything in our all-blame, no-fault culture, the concept of responsibility has gone wayside, along with ownership. And as I’m definitely not the resurrection of infallibility, this should in no way serve as judgment; rather, a question posed regarding the present state of societal and religious values.
~~It's the heart, afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance. It's the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance. It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give. And the soul, afraid of dying, that never learns to live. ~~
