Festivus for the rest of us
Even the most non-traditional, almost anarchists' rituals become tradition this time of year (the emphatic song from Fiddler spurs to mind suddenly...). Waking up to a snowy semi-offwhite Christmas morning to brimming full stockings and a pajama clad family was just one small joy in this decoratively beaded string of holiday ongoings. Though I can't help but spend some of this idle time in mindless thought.I've been preoccupied lately with this idea of an overlooked, misguided blessing in disguise. It comes masqueraded in the cloak of familiarity, of the occasional mundane and habitualness; a rut, some might say. We all try to escape those things in our pasts and present that weigh us down, keep us from attaining the adventure and inspiration that we seek.
What I've been slowly coming to terms with in the past few days is that there is comfort in the familiar, specifically in people who know my history-- the person I was back then and the traces that still remain. Spending some time with a dear friend helped to shift my focus out of this blindspot and be able to see from a wider angle. Ironically, I had thought it was in better judgment to burn those bridges and never even so much as glance back, but in the grander scheme of emotional evolution, I believe that we become more capable, better people, better apt to deal with the struggles that keep us bound. The very same things that beat us down, whip us with lashes so deep that they leave scars, triumph our spirits; perhaps they are merely a test of will, and in the end, make us stronger. Standing afar on the banks of the opposite shore, it's much easier to see how far I've come, that this year was better than the last, this season better than the last. Those bridges left standing, only serve as a reminder of the long journey behind all in the past.
But I digress (much). This will be yet another Christmas to remember and to cherish. It's easy to lose some of that childhood innocence and glee with the emergence of adulthood, but I can definitely say that there's still a glimmer of glee that peeked its unruly head out a couple of times this weekend. :)
posted by Sheila @ 12/25/2004 09:21:00 AM
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