And so, like sand through an hourglass...
I've officially decided that the month of December will be strictly devoted to hedonism and debauchery, and by the end of the next 28 days or so, long after my brain and I have left for a long vacation to the bright chasm of mindlessness, I hopefully won't even be able to recall what these words mean. Monday marks the last day of this eternal stretch of a semester and consequently a series of sleepless nights and abundant stress. And thus I'll finally reclaim forty hours lost a week lost to my other full-time job. With each passing day I pose the same question- is it all really worth it? What lengths must one be willing to succumb just for an extra three little initials after a monogram?
I have always been the one with a five year plan, but right now it's not so much set in stone as it is in moldable plaster. Tomorrow I have a "mutual interview" with a Lieutenant from the Navy who is in the power to hire a new civilian director of Epidemiology and Environmental Health. It seems somewhat uncanny that this is exactly what I'll receive my degree in this May. It's possibly that echo of self-indulgence reverberating from deep within, but at this moment with the limited knowledge I have about this position (salary, benefits, pension etc...) it's starting to look much more appealing than spending the next five years toiling with lab specimen and continuing to juggle a grueling work schedule. But then again, we must all ask ourselves what our motivation is- is it intrinsic motivation for self-improvement and knowledge, or is it extrinsic incitement for worldly goods? And why can't it be both?
I'll have the next month to truly revel in these perplexing quandries, and who knows- maybe I'll actually come to the conclusion that I am and forever will be destined to live the life of a student... and that I actually do enjoy it. Only time will tell.
posted by Sheila @ 12/02/2004 10:45:00 PM
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