Tuesday, November 23, 2004

The tangled webs we weave


Mission(s) unaccomplished for today, I regretfully report- I have just as many places of employment as I did this morning, and am still two recommendation letters shy of sending out my completed school applications. Sigh...

There's such a dynamic balance of power and between people. It's somewhere between a web of connection and a pulley system; one good hard tug will cause irreversible momentum throughout, not ceasing until every last fibrous strand has died out under its own rhythm of oscillation . We need others in our lives, whether it be a social, emotional, or even functional dependence. It's simply a certainty.

The reality of social reliance came in these two aforementioned items on my list of priorities today. However, much to my chagrin, neither were actualized even with weeks of incitement and deliberation, though finally I can state that this was through no fault of my own. A much dreaded trip to the med school library in order to officiate my resignation came to no avail, as the person I needed to see quite simply wasn't there. To further frustration that would seem to envelope today, I needed to inquire about the status of my recommendation forms (the last two of six) from my professor, who I thought had been given an adequate time frame of almost a month to complete them. But the issue of social courtesy invariably hindered my willingness and or motivation to ask him straightforward. I couldn't formulate a truly polite way of rushing someone who is technically doing me a favor. But, in my defense, there was a mutual agreement of time and a rather important educational stake at hand. I suppose I now have one of two options: wait for an undisclosed period and risk bypassing deadlines, or throwing caution to the wind by sending out the completed application sans one possibly minor letter of reference, being that it is now too late to find another source.

And thus the conjured image of webs is envisioned, because as much as the ambition to be self-reliant empowers and innervates many of my actions, I do realize that these subsurface as well as surface relationships are crucial within every walk of life. But sometimes, as in the case of today, they seem to unnerve and rattle more than form a cohesive foundation. The cracks aren't wide enough to fall through quite just yet, so here's to clinging to that lifeline of hope.


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