The absence beyond the shadow
Sometimes I truly wonder if I miss missing something. My entire existence thus far has been spent toiling in studies, masquerading behind the mask of a student, all to find my perfect career, and subsequently myself. Thinking that those two things are synonymous with one another was a monumental mistake it seems. I can see very clearly the paved stepping stones that led up to this misjudgment though.
When I was little, my only and entire aspiration was to become a doctor, to fulfill the dream that through life’s circumstances, my mother could not. And so ultimately, I believed that by attaining this goal, I would find myself beyond all realms of happiness, for was I not living out two dreams rather than just one?
As I grew older and only modestly wiser, I encountered my epiphany in small increments. I slowly learned that this life must be led by the reigns of self-realism, to establish one’s own moral code, mantra, and thus destiny. For there is seemingly little point in helping others without true belief in the cause. And this is how I pursued the ensuing future.
But there is still a lesson to be learned it appears; some infinitesimal component still absent. I’ve worked hard to ensure that my career pathway has cleared and free-flowing, and am quietly beginning to embark on this individual journey. This I could not be more ecstatic about. However, there’s something that I haven’t packed along for this voyage, and it’s causing no little distress and unease. And so the underlying hum of the wind, the constant drone of quietness, all whisper in hushed tones to me, what is it?
posted by Sheila @ 12/28/2005 04:46:00 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home