Thursday, September 15, 2005

As I was rereading one of my favorite, previously mentioned novels last night (see post below), a passage I came across really struck home, as it always does. “… it is only pain that changes us ”, to quote directly. The more I think about it the more I find it untrue, whereas I once believed wholeheartedly.

The plot fixated on a heroine and her simple but magnanimous struggles to maturity, to find both faith in herself and love for others; her fate not dissimilar to my own. But the more I consider this presumption, I think that it would more accurate if read as: “…in pain sought from love that changes us”, for pain takes away, but love gives. How can we build upon ourselves if always subtracting from essence but never adding? Though the many countless tears shed over the years have been a mechanism of self-preservation in that they are the consequence of a trial and error process gone awry, my heart has also grown much stronger and palpable over these same years, though not resilient; nor would I ever want it to become. For then it would never succumb to these euphoric moments of bliss over moonlight walks, tranquil conversations at dusk, or bouquets of flowers delightfully appearing as a caring and loving sentiment.

So yes, pain indeed shapes us into beings unalterable, but love will always be much more potent and prevail.

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