The absolutely old soul
I ask myself frequently at what exact point in time I became old. It's a fleeting thought that evades my mind quickly, but is definitively present after the dull aches and pains of a long work day begin to wear in, after passing on a late night adventure in lieu of early morning responsibilities, even while perusing the alluring snack aisle at the grocery store, but in the end veering toward the aisle of non-artery clogging foods.And in the comparison of "old" versus "young", I really mean the age at which you're on the brink of adulthood, on the cusp of the facing the repercussions to come but simply not caring; i.e., the days of college. Whether I truly ever experienced the novelty that was that short time frame is in question, but I certainly witnessed a lot of it from the perimeter.
But as revelations go, this one has come in short spurts. I don't want to live that life. I never have. In high school when the cool thing to do was go to kegger parties, my friends and I would instead go to the movies, bowling, and stay up until the early morning hours just discussing anything and everything, usually surrounded by the raucous environment of Denny's at three in the morning. I don't think that any other world existed to us, since we were perfectly happy being in our protected, innocently naive one.
And in college, when the cool thing to do was to go to kegger parties, I spent the majority of those nights memorizing nuclear isotopes or genus names, again fairly oblivious to many of the ongoings. But during those intense study sessions, I always had the most amazing company and have wonderful memories of sharing anecdotes, ordering pizza at midnight, and relating to each others' similar experiences. And even though I eventually did experience my first kegger and subsequently many others, it seemed like I was always the last to show up and the first to leave. I did things just to say that I had done them, to rebel a little against a previously unmarred existence. But in the end, I'm not regretful of anything.
But as I see people living this lifestyle far beyond its appropriate time frame, the endless nights of drunken debauchery, the reliving of even more dissolute events passed, even though it's easy enough to get caught up in the lure of momentary amusements, it just holds little appeal for me. Yes, I look forward to a night out at a bar every once in awhile, and going out dancing has always been exhilerating and enjoyable, but they're not a means to an end. It's more for the experience of the place as well as the people, and it always has been. If this then defines me as old and boring, so beit; there's no remorse here.
posted by Sheila @ 7/09/2005 06:17:00 PM
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