Unmasking and other such symbolism
Apparently I'm not as spry as I once was (yeah, I really just wanted to use the word "spry" today), because I'm starting to feel the repercussions of a late night out. We went to see Team Tomato last night at this cute little Italian bar/restaurant, and I got to thinking about perception and the image we want to portray as opposed to the one we actually do. I guess that's one of the aspects of hanging out with people you also work with- day in and day out I see Eric and Sean in one light (really terrible dim fluorescent that is) but by night, one is a hard core rocker and the other excudes this energy and demeanor completely different from what I term as the "9 to 5" persona. So, I must wonder if this is true for me as well. But it must be, because I've gotten the "I can't believe you _______ (insert imaginative act here)" line many times before, usually out of a normal work or school context.This got me thinking about the idea of deception, and if it's really deception if we're just doing it to shield ourselves from either pain or embarassment over past pain. Because in its truest sense, if we hide our most innermost thoughts from showing themselves either in emotion or words, isn't that technically deception? I guess what sparked that was that when I walked into the bar, I noticed that Leslie was there, Eric's ex-fiance, whom he has only spoken about in the bitter tone of someone who has been completely shattered by an experience of love. But as he was up there "rockin' it out", I didn't get the distinct impression that he was all too scathed by her presence, even though I think if I looked close enough, something in his eyes would give it away. We've all been through it; we wouldn't have a sense of compassion without knowing exactly how much "hurt" hurts. But if we were to wear that chip on our shoulders prominently and not hide it behind the other skeletons in our closet, what would that necessarily do? In a world where we only share our deepest, most pure emotions with strangers whom we pay to provide the proverbial couch and an the ability to solve all of our inner anxieties and puzzles, what would happen if we actually found an outlet for all of these feelings with people who actually care about us for the sake of friendship and love and not because they were clinically trained to?
posted by Sheila @ 9/10/2004 07:57:00 AM
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