Shadows of past
How much our own actions are dictated by self-will, and how much is clearly steered by expectations? Maybe we're all helpless marrionettes, smiles and expressions elaborately drawn, movements controlled by a series of bound string.Last night I came daringly and disastrously close to quitting my job at the med school. It appears that there are a magnitude of unbearable situations that I will put up, as I've never actually quit a job for any reason other than having to move or leaving for school. However, even indulgences and consideration for a co-worker's laziness and irresponsibility has its limits. Covering for shifts where he doesn't come in or shows up hours late is one thing when I have time specifially allotted for the uncertainty of him actually, God forbid, being where he is supposed to be, but when it becomes and infringement on time that I have scheduled for designated tasks is another agitated creature entirely.
Being that I was already 15 minutes late to a study group meeting, and productive time was idling away with each tick of the clock, I became increasingly more confidant about my ultimate decision. With just one call, I could explain a year's worth of repressed frustrations and be free from a job that in all honesty, I never needed in the first place. But in yielding to two more minutes of hesitation, he sauntered through the door, unapologetic and carefree, not knowing his own impending fate if he had spent an extra few moments to stop and chat on the way up. So in reconsideration, I may hold out a little while longer. We'll see if this decision comes back to haunt me.
posted by Sheila @ 10/29/2004 12:29:00 PM
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